Carrying On
By Darren King
[copyright 2009]
During difficult times
we are sometimes told to move on -
to move on and get on with our lives.
But moving on is synonymous with denial.
Moving on is an attempt to escape
the full effect of events
that unfold in our lives.
I don’t know how to move on -
I only know how to carry on.
Please don’t push -
I will not be hurried, thank you.
I will not be rushed.
I will not move on
and ignore my grief.
I will not move on
and deny my grief.
I will not move on
and deny the lessons
to be learned from it all.
I am a soul.
I need time.
Time to absorb what has happened.
Time to think, time to reflect.
Time to pray, time to listen.
Time to realize I have been changed.
Then, and only then, I will carry on.
Centered.
Taking with me the memory
of what has happened,
never to forget where I was,
what I was doing,
listening to how my children’s
world had changed.
And when my oldest
asks me,
What happens now?
I say kindly,
We carry on.
We pray, we give, we remember -
we carry on.
I think I actually said “YES!!” out loud when I read this…thanks for sharing.
And thank you for reading! Best, Darren
Just what I needed to hear especially today.
Thank you so much!
i guess it is part of that rushing to nowhere world. keep your way going. take it easy and as it comes. well said
Thanks Utopian Fragments. I thought this piece might be a precursor to a larger work, an essay. Yes, as you note, it seems our cultural is rush-rush. Too, I wonder if it’s a matter of not wanting to embrace that life, or some aspect of it, or all of it – has changed – and that change is in fact something to be embraced, particularly in the face of crisis. To say to myself, life has changed, and ‘this’ is why, and ‘this’ is what it means and I will contemplate this as I carry it with me…thanks for reading and sharing your comments. Best, Darren
Jenjen, I read once, “We read to know we are not alone.” I forget that sometimes too, when I become too busy and don’t take the time to read. Words carry us all. I’m glad this piece spoke to you. Thanks for stopping by…best, Darren
darren, i don’t think there is other way then emracing the change. it IS here. ignoring it will not help. this not to say we should just accept it but we should watch it and its meanings and work together and alone to get the better of it and to see the up’s are more then the downs’s. personally i think it is not so good, but it is like that and i try to make the bets to work in this frame. it is hard for those who wish to go slow, live life in what i feel is more natural, and you have described well.
good luck
Darren,
Wow – very moving. My heart aches reading this. Grief is a process and I, too, resent the way the world wants us to get over it already. Many people are so uncomfortable with expressing grief and being there for someone else when they are experiencing it. We try to mask it, make small talk, crack a joke. Anything to sweep it under the rug. I am in awe of your insight. I’m not sure if you’re talking about a death, but if you are — imagine being the person who died…and those who are left behind are trying to forget us and move on quickly. Thank you for this! Keep writing…
Hello Lisa, thanks for your sharing your thoughts. When I wrote this piece (originally in essay form) it was about something very specific, but I wanted to keep the content very general for accessibility – since we experience grief for so many reasons: death, injury, worry. I do think it’s a modern phenomena that our culture would rather not deal with death so directly – as evident from the experience of a local acquaintance, Thomas Lynch, a funeral director and writer (www.thomaslynch.com). He says something to the effect that funerals are rites for passage for those left behind, getting us where we need to be and getting the dead where they need to be (he speaks and writes so elquoently and gently about these matters).
I wrote this piece in the aftermath of the September 11th attacks and shared it with many friends and hundreds of acquaintances who I knew had many questions and were processing many emotions. Thanks for your interest in my work…always a joy to chat…
Best,
Darren
This is a topic that really makes us think isn’t it? Thanks for your thoughts…best, Darren
Time heals all wounds, they say, and I’ve known a lot of people who have experienced hurt in such a deep and searing way, and they carry on. Sometimes that’s all we can do. Beautifully said, Darren.
Thanks Alison. Love your site (if it weren’t for potluck, I’d have no luck at all – just wondering if Cluck and Tweet was like Pickin’ and Grinnin’
Embracing a moment… any moment… carries a scent of sweetness even when it’s to cherish a memory of someone you love. You capture this. The moment is now eternal. nice.
Hi Cindy! Admirably to your credit, you always ferret out the goodness in a situation…if even a ’scent’ of goodness is there, you’ll find it. Hope all is getting better for you and your community there in the North…best, Darren
Your poems – and the way you introduce them – are unfailingly honest and straightforward. I cannot help but be moved by your words and thoughts as your descriptions are so concise, so clear – so real.
I read this piece last week, and thought I had commented – but apparently not – and I’m glad I returned today because reading your pieces and the comments and replies is just as moving and interesting as the first time around.
Peace be with you.
Hello Patrice – thanks for your second note! You did comment on this on my other blog where it is also published…like you, I too enjoy reading comments and replies…loved your rescue story and your interpretation of the ‘bleeding’ trees…best, Darren