02
Jan
10

A New Year a New Hope

This post is dedicated to my on-line community; to know and have access to such gifted writers and poets is wonderful. Having writers and poets as friends is a blessing.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

“The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.”
- Ivy Baker Priest

I spent the last quarter of 2009 and ended it too, for many reasons, feeling rather cynical, toward many matters – matters big and small, personal matters as well as matters concerning our world at-large – and in my cynicism, and this speaks to the danger of it, over those few months I didn’t consider the impact another new year could make. I ignored it really. The passing of the old year to the new. The turning of a corner. After all, what difference can one day make? Why is January 1st different than December 31st? Are not my circumstances today, the first day of 2010, the same as they were less than twenty-four hours ago in 2009? Well, I suppose in one way, dates do not make a difference. Our lives are our lives. And the circumstances that make them our lives are there from one day to the next. A continuous thread. We carry on. We live through our circumstance what ever it may be. We plow and push onward with the rising of the sun and with its setting lay down tired heads.

But in another way, time’s passing, dates and milestones – the turning from one year to another – matters most profoundly to us at our conscious level as well as our sub-conscious level. In fact, it may be at the sub-conscious level where we most rely upon the milestone of the New Year holiday and it implications. From its very name, we infer the possibilities that a new day, a new year may bring.

Hope hinges on such a holiday. Hope is reborn on such a holiday – that we might reach down deep and reality-check the fear and cynicism of yesterday and realize today, this day, is new; a new year to see our lives differently, to revisit our habits, our thinking and see our world is not flat, it is round and the place we thought was an end, we see now is only a beginning. And the aspects of our lives we find to have been much at the root of our cynicism -the duties and the tasks, the responsibilities and the battles, the ugliness even -these matters from twenty-four hours ago, they are not gone. They do not disappear. They await us still, to be dealt with come Monday. But that we might view them in a new light, approach them head-on from a new place that in this way, we come to experience our own revolution of sorts. A very personal revolution. One no one else may see, but one we might profoundly feel injected with a new energy, a new hope, a new excitement toward the possibilities that the new year may bring. And this is Heaven’s joke; when we allow ourselves to be open to revolution, to potential, open to possibilities, that they exist – possibilities come. Our own revolution manifests itself in our actions. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. Hope will always trump cynicism. Sometimes we just need a reminder. Like a date on our calendar. Wow. What a difference a day makes. Happy New Year.

[copyright 2010 Darren King]

26
Sep
09

Where We Start

It’s a source of fascination for me. To build a life. What is it really? What is it that we do, I mean. To make a life. What does that mean? I thought about this the other day sitting alone in an airport, people watching and then yesterday at the grocery store picking up things for Sunday morning. And I imagined someone finishing school and after a while finds a job, finds an apartment in another state or town. And not knowing anyone sets up house, on a weekend, like this one, in autumn. Books over here. Over there, a computer. In that corner an old guitar missing a string. Some hand-me down furniture from relatives. You can smell the damp of their basement on the quilts and pillows they gave you. The ones you played on as kid on their family room floor or used to prop an elbow during a game of Monopoly in front of the television with your cousins. And mismatched couch and chair, an end table and a night stand. All arranged carefully now. It’s just you so make a small bowl of spaghetti, something quick, sauce from a jar, some bread from the baker downstairs to put some fragrance in the room, something familiar. Eat at the dinette watching a sit-com rerun. Put your dishes in the sink for cleaning latter, when there are enough to make the effort worth your time. Walk over to the window now. Look out at the red-bricked buildings, think about Monday and work and pumping gas in the rain expected that morning. Write it down now that you’ve remembered you’ve left your umbrella back home and need to go out Sunday and buy a new one. And now yes, it occurs to you, yes, this is home. It will take awhile for that to sink in. But for now, forget about your umbrella, forget about Monday and your empty gas tank and your new job, your computer in the corner yet to be connected to the outside world, to the phone line outside. Follow that line from the overhang above your window out to the top of the pole where the pigeons are perched and then down to the gray street where you watch the cars, the red and white lights reflected in the damp. Watch the people walking, silhouettes, carrying bags of groceries, a newspaper tucked under one arm, people who remembered their umbrellas, people just trying to get to the next place, people just trying to get wherever it is they need to be, wherever that is. And I suppose that’s where we start. There’s always someone outside, going somewhere. And there’s always someone inside, watching them.

[copyright 2009] Darren King

07
Sep
09

Hey Teacher, Leave Those Kids Alone!

Scary.  The farce that has become the rhectoric from the right-wing- fringe-now-turned-mainstream-GOP-voices – inspired by a coming speech from our President addressed to the nation’s students as they begin school and said speech to contain the controversial messages; work hard, set goals, take responsibility.  As a result of all the noise, my wife and I received the following note from our youngest son’s school, some unfortunate teacher or administrators had to draft and send – on Labor Day no less:

Dear Parents & Caregivers, The 4th grade classes will be watching President Obama’s Speech tomorrow starting at 12:00. The President’s message will be to challenge students to work hard; to set educational goals; and take responsibility for learning. If you do not want your child to see this address, please email or contact their teacher to let them know. We will have an activity planned for them in the main office during this time.

Thank you, The 4th Grade Teachers

If there were any room for political spin on the President’s speech, I would have thought the obvious accusation from the political right would have been that our President is taking a page out of the GOP’s worn-out handbook, using it for his own devices.  WTF?   Alas!  The message, or lack thereof, from the right is old, worn-out, tired and aimless in its direction - other than the trajectory of hate.  Their message is dark.  It lacks hope for the future.  It lacks any ideas that inspire or ignite the imagination – that would move one to act on such a calling.  They really hate this President.   It’s obvious, with said and encouraged spokespersons Limbaugh and Beck. 

Maybe for the political right and the GOP, in its current and sustained form, this time now marks the beginning of their end.  Their party has been hijacked – or at least, they’ve allowed the wingnuts to seize the power vacuum transforming the party of “no” worse yet into the party of hate, the party of Beck and Limbaugh; clearly it’s an unsustainable, uninspiring course.  But a course, to spite this President, they seem hell-bent on taking nonetheless.

If the political right contiues the course (I suspect they will), perhaps a new party will emerge for conservatives who have ideas and who base those ideas in some form of intellectual, ideological or philosophical thought.   Our nation would then have two parties worthy of the American people in the competition of ideas.  Pluralism is good.  

But if the protest to the President’s coming speech is simply more of the emptiness we are to expect from the political right, then their dark sacasm will continue to shroud their own party while shutting out the prospects for any bright new voices within and this whole ugly scene this coming Tuesday will be just another brick in their big, ugly wall.

[copyright 2009] Darren King

 September 8, 2009 Author’s note:  Newt Gingrich, Former First Lady Laura Bush and Joe Scarborough (Host of MSNBC’s ‘Morning Joe’) have complimented President Obama’s speech and his timely address to our nation’s students.  Also, I typically do not post essays of a political sort here but more at my other blog, Good Kingdom (blogger).  But, one can not give the impression of living in a vacuum either. 

 

05
Sep
09

A Letter to Her Children: President Obama’s Address to the Nation’s Students

Today’s post features a wonderful letter written to her children, by friend and brilliant writer, Rebecca King at her blog ’Adventures of a Nervous Girl’. 

http://adventuresofanervousgirl.typepad.com/nervous_girl/2009/09/a-letter-to-my-children.html

24
Dec
08

Believe: an essay

Believe: an essay
By Darren King [copyright 2008]

Watching “The Polar Express” with our children the other night, I noticed something I hadn’t in previous years. Perhaps it took a few viewings for me to see the film’s depth beyond the astonishing animation. Or maybe, I’m just slow to notice these things. But I noticed during this year’s viewing, that should the Polar Express stop at my house, I am not required to get on the train. And even if I do, I still am not required to see Santa after arriving at the North Pole. The choice, is mine.

It’s a beautiful film. Dark. Powerful imagery. The heavy train. The snowy cliffs. Artic wolves and a ghostly hobo. It’s a powerful story too. About a boy from Grand Rapids, Michigan. The Polar Express stops at his house. He’s a doubter. A non-believer. And after some hesitation, he hops on the train just in time before it picks up speed and leaves his neighborhood. It stops again at another boy’s house. Billy. We can see from Billy’s appearance and the appearance of his house, his family is less fortunate. Because Christmas has never worked out for Billy, he’s a doubter. And who can blame him. Billy chooses not to get his hopes up only to have them let down yet another Christmas morning. The film does not let this cold hard truth of life escape our thoughts. Billy isolates himself from the other children on the train. He has trouble making friends. Trusting. Relying. Depending. They are roadblocks for Billy when trying to connect with other people.

And as a good story grounded in reality goes, the North Pole is as scary a place to witness as it is exciting. Like Santa, once we meet him. Scary. Exciting. Bewildering. A powerful, timeless figure and his strange home; it’s a far country from places we know, places we live. As such a person and his unique home should be. Seeing, we are forced to believe. Believing, we are forced to see.

And so it is with belief. It’s never an intellectual decision to believe. It’s not to say with reason and intellect, I have arrived, I see – therefore I believe. Believing, or belief, is a decision of the heart. Trust. Rely on. Depend on. Count on. These things I can not see. These are things in which I can only believe. And such is the case for belief and unbelief alike. It is my choice. “One thing about trains,” the railroader says at the end of the film, “it doesn’t matter where they’re going. What matters is deciding to get on.”

Merry Christmas…

06
Dec
08

Happy Holidays

A good friend of mine – a wonderful writer, activist, poet, humanitarian, philosopher, commentator to progressive politics, outspoken champion of human rights, fan of art, music and film, husband and father, theologian and pastor who fifteen years ago presided over my marriage to Deborah Larson – wrote a wonderful essay I wanted to share entitled “Merry Christmas…or Happy Holidays” published on his blog Chips and Salsa Today (see my blog roll). He’s a lot things as you can see. To me, he’s Tom. Mostly. Or “Captain”. A loyal friend who seems to have the mental telepathy knowing when to reach out to me over the miles, when I need his words most, whether I know it or not.

And as an adult-convert, Tom has ministered to me in many ways; pastor, friend, sometimes-equally-bewildered pilgrim, sometimes father-figure. It wasn’t long after we met that I stopped calling him Pastor Eggebeen, or Dr. Eggebeen, except in mixed company or while in front of someone new to our church.

The essay he wrote, I will say, I wish I had written. That’s a joke. Okay, it’s not; I really do wish I had written it because Tom so effectively captures my sentiment. He articulately and eloquently expresses a genuine sensitivity, a mindfulness that as we celebrate our own traditions, we too can honor those who by their lives and beliefs are different from our own. As a Christian, I think about Christ’s command to love our neighbors as ourselves. And in that we may honor our neighbors too, that their beliefs and traditions might be different from ours. Jesus is big enough to handle that without me feeling I have to yell out over the rooftops of the world that I do so in his name (or His if you’re particular…see how that works?). And regarding matters of belief and faith of which I’ve never written about here (directly), whether you’re sitting on the fence, or standing clearly outside the door by your own choosing, that’s okay too. There’s a reason. God knows it and he knows your heart – which also goes for the devout church-goer. “He who would say, ‘I have arrived’,” wrote Georgia Harkness, “would thereby confess that he had not yet started.” We all are pilgrims. When traveling, it’s best we stay together.

I hope the spirit of this holiday season, the best it has to offer, brings you peace, a slower pace to living and time with those you love and hold dear.

Merry Christmas…and Happy Holidays,

Darren King
December 2008

11
Oct
08

Coming Home

Coming Home
By Darren King [copyright 2008]

Traveling for business is odd. At least when you do it as frequently as I do. It’s necessary. But it’s odd. The drama that comes with airports and shuttles. Rental cars and hotels. Sometimes I feel like Steve Martin in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”. Take a flight, add in a lay-over, a whacky flight attendant and an irate passenger, throw in some bad weather and you’ve got the makings of a screenplay.

But traveling for me is necessary. There just are some things you can’t do over the Internet. You can not replace the value of time spent with someone face-to-face. Yet, while I am traveling, building relationships elsewhere, the relationships back home are on-hold in the same physical sense. I can communicate with my wife and children by cellphone and emails. But it’s not the same as actually being home. I don’t kid myself about these things. When I’m away – I’m away. And after a few days days, being in a hotel room without your family? It gets old. Fast. And because I travel so frequently, when I do I enter into a whole other life. A very different life. Alone and with a whole different set of habits and routines that kick in as soon as I hit the airport.

I always fool myself into thinking I’m going to catch up on sleep. This is usually a sign that I’ve started the trip already sleep-deprived. However, as soon as I get to my hotel room it’s a different story. I unpack my clothes. I set out my toiletries and find a plug to charge my cellphone. I pull back the bedding, unpack my laptop and sit cross-legged on the bed while flipping channels on the television. I read. I write. I catch up on emails. The news. I prepare for the next day’s set of meetings. I call business contacts who have left messages at two phones. I call my family to say good night. I stay up too late. I have the whole routine down. Like other habits, it’s all very easy. After a few days of this, I’m ready for home.

This week I was back in the great state of North Carolina. One of my frequent trips to Durham. Making the time away a little more bearable, I stay across from Papas Grille right in Durham. The friendly couple who own and run the restaurant also own and run the coffee house next door. She makes my morning coffee. He makes my dinner.

“Hello Darren!”, she says, when she sees me on the first morning of my first full day.

“Can you turn my light on dear?”, she says.

Six-foot, three, she is asking me to reach up and pull the little chain for the light at the front of the cafe’, like I’m the Abominable Snowman in Rudolph, putting the star on the Christmas tree. “And he doesn’t even need a step ladder!” She stands behind the espresso machine watching me; a large, skim, hazelnut, latte’ already in the works.

“How long are you staying this time?”

“Four days,” I say, “through Thursday evening.”

“Oh good. Then I will see you for dinner?”

“Yes,”.

“Good,” she says. “We will make you something very special.”

So this is how my week away from home went. And will go. I rise early. I stay up late. I work. I hear a lot of funny conversations. I miss my family. But I see her each morning when she has already started my coffee and asks me to pull the little chain for her light. And I will see them at night when he makes my dinner. And when things slow down, we’ll watch CNN on the flatscreen in the corner of the bar. We’ll talk about politics, the stock markets. We’ll talk about her grown sons and my young boys and compare the weather here in Durham to home, in Greece and Michigan.

07
Oct
08

Private Investigations

It’s a mystery to me, the game commences,
for the usual fee, plus expenses.
Confidential information, it’s in a diary.
This is my investigation; it’s not a public inquiry. – Mark Knopfler

Private Investigations
By Darren King [copyright 2008]

Private investigations. They’re at the heart of a writer’s work. Unsoliticited thoughts made public. And the process is a complete mystery to me. To stare into a page containing a single line, a singular thought, one that came to me earlier in the week while pumping gas, or perhaps just before falling asleep, or while listening to a song. A thought I couldn’t let go of, for reasons unknown, so I let it bounce around in my head, unfettered, without judgment, letting it have a little more life of its own before I force some meaning out of it, because there’s something about a thought like this, something I can never put my finger on. So I read. I wrestle. I reflect.

And then it’s mine to do. To find my way through the morning why everyone else is sleeping, to sit down and write, to spend a few hours of myself on the thought, unsure where it’s all heading, hoping for the pay-off, hoping for the tag line, that line at the end that ties the whole work together. And when it does, it all makes sense, it always comes as a surprise and I remember then why I do this and it’s something I continually have to relearn; that the process of writing in of itself provides a way of connecting things seemingly that cannot be connected, mapping one thought to another and all the links between.

Years ago, I awoke one morning in a new home, found my way through the darkness to the loneliness downstairs. Boxes lay about a room that was to become our library. We weren’t quite out of our old house and we weren’t quite settled into the new. As I looked about the cluttered room, the boxes opened and unopened, it came to me that life has a trajectory. In a larger sense, we are always traveling between two points and between these two points, we find ourselves searching for directions, something pointing us to true north, holding fast to the faith that between the secular and the august there is some larger narrative of meaning and purpose.

05
Oct
08

Hope: An Essay

True to form, we stayed late at our friends last night. Or early. Depending upon your perspective. I think we set a new record. We pulled into our driveway at 2AM. Our children are so comfortable at our friends house, they eventually fall asleep while watching a ball game or movie after they have exhausted their contributions to conversation and playing video games. Earlier in the evening, Reese fell asleep on the long, bench seat in the kitchen with Tinkerbell who had curled up with him into a little ball. Tink is a cat. Our friends’ cats and animals are named after Disney characters. Bagheera is a beautiful, large black cat with sage-green eyes and a round face. He has a lovingly pushy personality. He is his own person; but I would be leaving out an important piece of detail if I didn’t say he reminded me of our cat Sage who passed away a few years ago. So I know I reach out to Bagheera a little more than the other cats when he walks by and rubs his face on my hand hanging along the chair.

Sage used to do that when he wanted attention. He made it known. When he wanted his space, he did his own thing. But after some time, he would appear in the family room with the rest of us and plop himself in front of the fireplace and proceed to cook himself. When he became too hot on one side, he would roll over and cook the other. And when that side became too hot, he would leave the family room to lie on the cooler, hardwood floor near the foyer. While I have missed Sage and the idea of having a cat, I haven’t fully explored why we haven’t gotten another. I mean beside the fact that Deborah was mildly allergic to Sage it was nice having a little furry person walking freely about the house, clearly a part of the family, clearly his own person. Perhaps it has to do more with faith and hope, a little lacking of both really. A little lacking of bravery. To be daring enough to invest in something new again with the faith and hope that things will work out, things will be okay.

Last night the adult conversation was lively with our boys, varying cats and singular dog coming in and of the room. We were talking about the election. While the ages in the room ranged from 8 to mid-80’s the consensus on the state of our times and the state of our nation was the same. Everyone is looking for some hope. Some sign that our nation can be a nation that builds things again. A nation that is brave enough to dream bigger and beyond the next fiscal quarter. A nation that puts things together. Rather than take them apart. Having just returned from Sleeping Bear Dune National Lakeshore, I am reminded of our nation so many years ago when people had the foresight and spent the energy deciding on what lands to set aside for future generations to enjoy. Over the years, some Americans have given up many a Tuesday night for some 7PM committee meeting to decide these matters. Someone sat down, wrote out their idea and delivered a vision that others could see, touch and feel, that the idea was worthy of sacrifice to make it a reality. And on it goes. From the creation of local and state parks, educational scholarships and public schools, the National Park System, to NASA and the Peace Corps. In the face of tough times, or tougher times, Americans historically have stepped up and in some cases went further. So everyone in the room last night is looking for some hope. To be daring enough to invest in something new again with the faith and hope that things will work out, things will be okay. Potentiality preceeds actuality. First there was the word. Before the undertaking, first there is the bravery of the idea. The bold act of some daring person to write it down. And then the joining of others to make it happen.

04
Oct
08

greetings from a (mostly) good kingdom

My wife Deborah and I have mostly been talking today. About “mostly”. Mostly, it seems, has become our end-goal in life. Not perfect. Not the best. Mostly. We strive to be mostly good people. We try to be mostly good parents. I could never wear a shirt that says “superdad”. I would consider wearing a dad t-shirt if it said, “a good dad, mostly.” When company visits our home, we work to make it mostly clean. Today, I felt mostly well. I’m fighting the scratchy throat everyone else in the family has already had. So today, while Deborah was working on her art, I mostly followed her around the house playing my guitar. She enjoys it. Mostly. When the novelty wears off, I switch to Jack Johnson. Her favorite. This buys me another two or three songs. Her studio has nice light and good acoustics. So I enjoy playing in there. Tonight we will visit good family-friends who are also gifted chefs. So when we are at their home, we mostly eat. We will talk about the coming election, food, our children and how the first signs of Autumn (I prefer Autumn to Fall) are apparent on the trees in our yards. Our children will play with their cats. We will stay too late as we always do. Tomorrow, I will mostly lie about the house, drink cappuccinos and think of more songs to play. Have a good evening. -dk